Chapter 13: Love

  

"the implication is that such a person--the right one--must surely exist..." (Janaro and Altshuler, 2017)

Thes question of whether or not soulmates exist is pretty divided. Some people believe that there is no one person that is destined to be with them, and that they just get the best option presented to them in the way of partners. Others believe that there is only person they will ever truly connect with-their soulmate, and their romantic lives are an unending search for that person. In the scientific world, it known that love is "the result of the release of successive waves of chemicals in our body," and just that (Janaro and Altshuler, 2017). This would lead many to believe that there is no way that soulmates exist if love doesn't have anything to do with one's soul in the first place. Others, maybe those who believe in a higher power, believe that there is a special otherworldly bond between two people who love each other, and the ultimate bond is with one's soulmate. I was watching YouTube videos earlier today, and I came upon one that discussed aromanticism, which is when a person experiences little or no romantic attraction to others. I would be curious to know how aromantic people feel about this topic, and whether they even understand the feelings that we feel when we are in love with someone.

(Aromantic Pride Flag 3' x 5' - Walmart.com)

“tradition of placing the lady on a pedestal and of expecting nothing in return.” (Janaro and Altshuler, 2017)

The idea of chivalry has evolved a lot from this. As time went on, the idea of chivalry downgraded from giving your life in battle to protect your lady to simply opening doors for them. As society has become more and more focused on reaching gender equality by speaking out in favor of women's rights, it has also become more equal in how chivalry is practiced. Unlike in old timey cartoons, nowadays a man wouldn't dirty his coat to allow a random woman to walk safely across a puddle, as that can be seen as insulting the woman's ability to find her own solution, or an insult to her independency. The saying "ladies first" has been criticized as sexist, as the act of being polite and having manners shouldn't be based on one's gender.

(Holding a door open and carrying someone's bags can reduce the impact of a bad day | Daily Mail Online)

“sometimes convenience or pre-arrangements outweigh love as the reason to marry.” (Janaro and Altshuler, 2017)

Marriage has often been used as a way to benefit oneself, and historically has not always been as much about love as it is now. In the medieval era, Kings often arranged for their children to wed in order to build strategic alliances, disregarding the wants of their children. In fact, arranged marriages like these were the primary way that marriages were formed historically, and arranged marriages still occur in many places today. Despite this, our view of marriage has evolved significantly. We now place more value in the love shared between the two spouses, and nowadays the main reason that people get married is in the name of love. Our laws even reflect this. Today, if an immigrant marries a US citizen, gets their green card, and divorces soon after, it may be seen as marriage fraud. This shows how much we value love in our marriages today, and in my opinion, it is the way it should be.

(Aldie Mansion - Wedding Venues - SMJ Photography)

Sources

Janaro, R. P., & Altshuler, T. C. (2017).The Art of Being Human: the Humanities as a Technique for Living, 11th edition. Pearson Education, Inc.

Walmart

Daily Mail

SMJ Photography